Today, I went to Borders at night for a good read and relaxation plus dinner from my sister for assisting her with furniture moving.
So my sister, the "PMSing Monster" is a good role model. She's a manipulative dominating bitch with a bad temper but today, I just happen to acknowledge some good things about the PMSing Monster. Assertiveness. It has always been a downfall for me; No confidence, no respect for self. As something as simple as today, buying hot chocolate from the cafe. I gave a voucher "buy one, get one free" except I paid both of the hot chocolate without the hot chocolate. The man forgot to process to ticket. I let it pass. I was a pushover. But sister did not accept that. It was their problem and irresponsible so she demanded this deal and got her money back. She suggested (well, she has a critic mouth) that I should think smarter and stand up for myself. I should indeed and my excuse was: I just did not know how to respond. Dealing with social problems are new to me.
And I wonder why I don't stand up for myself. First answer was I don't have a sense of self worth. I mean, I feel invisible. A piece of meat. I'm lazy and always slothing around and give up easily. I let others plan my life. I'm like sheep (concidently, I live in NZ :P ) She complained how unlively I am. I am asleep and dead in personality. Reminds me how lively I was when I small always laughing and having fun. Now that I'm a teenager, I just found myself rigid, stiff, and not laughing as much as I use to. I could be lame to blame school for my problems. Boring me with junk knowledge, revision, and so. I am not learning or being challenged at all. I bored to the skull that it's stressing me.
School stripped pretty much most of my youth. I'm just a sheep. Following authority. I feel like I'm not an individual anymore. But I know, the universal truth is: we're responsible for our lives. We have choices. If I have a problem with something, I should do something about it.
So I choose to stop blaming school for my problems and start improving my life.
Life should not be a drag, a burden, something to survive. It's something to live for. We're here for a good time, not a long time. I want to make the most of nature's gift of life.
My sister said about joining sports. I have never been the sporty type. Insufficent physical skills. Not fit. But I know that by having exposure to an activity, you'll get better; learning new angles and techniques from experiencing it. That's how I learn. Would you rather read the recipe or actually do the recipe from the cookbook? Do the recipe of course! Who cares if you make a mistake, you learn from it. However, this is where school is doing it wrong. They punish you for your mistakes; real valuable learning tools. Back to sports, even if I do play a sport, my body won't cope with my current eating habits. I'm skinny thanks to fasting a lot. I get like two meals pure a day from ignoring my mum's alienated cooking. If I want something satisfying and edible to eat, I'll need to cook it myself. With my current laziness, it just fails. So no sports for me till I get better food habits and a better BMI. >_>
So from as simple as today, I gained new insights and a role model. :]
No matter what happens, school life will end soon which will be exciting. But I thought, "What am I going to do?".
University would be the mediocre answer. But what for? Because my parents said so? That's a pathetic reason. It would prove that I have failed independence. Then there are things like "Bachelor of Arts" "Bachelor of Science" degrees people obtain. But do I need it? My youngest sister says it could help you get the job you want. What the fuck. Do businesses only give hell whether you done a science degree? Besides, I think I'll take a break from this endurance of spoon-fed knowledge and heal my mind and soul slowly.
I could take business school. I am interested in entrepreneurship and could take a course on that. I feel like that could be a handy skill.
And obviously get a job. But not any job out of desperation just for money. I want something challenging and something that catches my interests. Getting job to fit your desires would be close to impossible but I want something manageable and fair in pay.
But of course, over time, once I'm prepared, I'll do a business. The idea of a comic publishing company would be my first idea. Be the first comic company in New Zealand. That'll be hard not knowing what the demand for comics is in New Zealand but I could be the first and that would be a good start. And I have the kiwi spirit; let's give it a go. The journey may be hard but I know I'm spending my energy, heart, and soul on something I love. Passion. Devoted for. Plus I won't be making someone else rich. :P I may be fiancially, mentally, socially, and physically challenged but I had the courage. I lived the life. That'll be my goal.
I want to learn the unexplored world out there school failed to show me.
I want to be a better person.
I want to be brave.
I want to enjoy.
I want to love.
I want to laugh.
I want to grow.
I want to have fun.
I want to live.
New Delhi - An 11-year-old Indian schoolgirl died after a teacher allegedly made her stand in the baking sun as punishment for not doing her homework, reports said on Friday.
I'm utterly disgusted. Horrified. I pray the girl peace.
Forcing a child to start in the sun as a punishment over homework?
This is disgusting. Stupid and pointless.
I hope there will be justice.
While luckily, the western world has stopped such physical punishments but that does not mean schools are better.
There are still things to improve, psychologically.
Homework should be stopped.
The benefits of homework is a illusion. You may think it helps with memorization but it brings burden.
It brings stress and conflict to relationship with parents.
The emotional negativity it unnecessarily causes.
The homework can be pointless as well forcing junk and trivial knowledge.
Children should not be forced to do things against their will.
Plus it limits learning time in the REAL WORLD and time with their family.
Homework is not helping. Leave work from school at school, not in my personal time.
