I have been hooked on Combat Arms.
Now it's an addiction. A lot worse than my previous neopets experience. xD
Now I'm staying up to 4 play this game.
Loads of shooting and massacr'ing.
O:
Love is a lie.
Love is all about pleasure and sexual gain.
Love is a dirty trick to continue the human species.
Love is a concept that have been stretched, distorted, torn, toyed around with that its truth fell out.
WHAT PEOPLE CLAIM LOVE TO BE:
An infatuation. That's biology.
SEX SEX SEX. That's lust.
Feeling secure. That's fear.
Feeling good. That's low self-esteem.
Feeling helped. That's dependency.
And all the other bullcrap that girls fantasize and media put bombard crap with.
Their ideas I feel that there's something missing. The missing piece.
Well, maybe it's just my idea of love being perferctionistic fairy-tale like.
Being about to care for someone. Being about to say they're beautiful from not my eyes, from my heart.
Being able to see their soul and accept them for the way they are. They don't need to change.
Actually, that's not very perfectionistic. That's the real deal.
However, I am yet to see this love exist. :/
Oh well. I'll go back to believing love doesn't exist.
Death, the end of life.
Now, I just don't feel a chill of fear.
Since my idea that time is just an illusion, I'd be saying I'm dead already.
It could happen any time.
While other people are scared of death,
I think they're actually scared of the unknown.
Not being about to know what happens next.
I don't might death.
I think its just a gift.
Funny how people are concerned with security from death
instead of focusing on enjoying life.
Well, I have people in fake disguises in MSN.
But I can tell they're fake easily. o_o
I got a guy posing as a girl then the poser talks about whether I like car magazines.
:/ A girl reading car magazines? Unrealistic.
If you was to impersonate well, study the victim your impersonation. Mannerisms, the way they talk, what are their signature emoticon, etc. Identity is not enough to fool me. You need their mentality, I believe that called acting. Getting into character.
I caught people out easily since their talking style is different.
Just trimmed my Delicious account since now I got a USB drive. =D
Backing up my files and so.
Well, nothing else to say I guess. Got school tomorrow.
#2 Happiness
Just be happy. Smile no matter what the situation is. Pick up the little things. It's good weather today, I've have good friends, whatever. Know what you have.
#3 Positivity
Just be positive. Being negative achieves nothing. Crush that inner demon. Don't complain - why increase the pain? Just let go, let it be, and move on. Go with the flow. Like a leaf, if it clings to a rock in a river, the force will be against. However if the leaf just let go and go with the river, the power of the current will be yours.
You don't have to choose to have a negative life. Life is what you make of it. It's your penny. Don't keep doing the things you hate.
If it gets boring, change something.
#1 Work
Don't think. No rationalizing or thinking. Just jump straight to it. DO IT.
Do not wait for a spark or inspiration hype.
Motivation only comes AFTER when you work.
Laziness - its just an emotion. Do not let it cloud your head. Emotions are just there because... They're just there. o_o
However, don't let your emotions control you. Self-discipline. Have the ability to delay temporary comfort and pleasure.
"Motivation doesn't last - neither does bathing. That's why I recommended daily."
What can be done tomorrow, can be done today. What can be today, can be done now.
"Talk does not cook rice!"
Work first over play. Your free time will be enjoyed at a maximum getting worries of your chest.
"Results! Not excuses!"
If your task is big, break it into small little pieces. Instead of "I will write a novel", say "I will write 5 pages today". Or "3 - 5 paragraphs for every hour" would be even better.
The big things that happen starts by small things.
Trust action.
"People know you for what you've done, not what you plan to do."
Time is an illusion.
Past is only a memory.
Future is just a plan.
But you only live NOW.
The future happens NOW.
And don't just say "I'll solve this problem in a week." Say you'll solve this problem today. Humans underestimate how fast time passes.
And after a long days of work, reward yourself. :) Give yourself a treat.
I just feel like come crawling back here.
Ideas, just need to be and express.
If you're cursed with creativity, you'll need to nourish it.
Those ideas bugging you to lead them to the door of the real world.
After procrastinating, I feel all burning for action at night.
And unfortunately, night is my curfew for sleep.
Hmm...
Smelling the smell of morning makes me feel pumped too.
Oh well, I live now... Screw waiting to be an adult. Screw planning. Screw this and that. Screw treating youth is preparation to be an adult.
I only live now. The present.
The past does not exist and its all merely an illusion and memory.
No more wound licking.
The future is like a fat kid having a donut floating in front of its forehead, chasing it and never get the donut.
No more making plans.
Sigh.
I'm quitting computer altogether.
Well, trying to. :P
Now of course, I can't be happy all the time. I got hit with the blues being depressed and unease feelings with my pessimist lashing out how bad life is with the forced education from school and what should I do in the future.
Then I go considering the idea of suicide. Then my logic side goes telling me, if you're going to die, at least try fixing your problems first. If you're considering ditching earth, then everything is worthless to you so I might as well do something crazy. And only weak people do suicide. Therefore, I'm strong enough to cope and endure. Now thats self esteem candy, lol. Besides, I made it this far in my age, wait for a few more years to see how the adult world works.
So I decided to go biking to the library since biking seems symbolic to "running away". :P I read an interesting psychology book about nasty people how there's "little hilters" or the "invalidators" walking around today and their tactics. I'm rather amused by this book.
At the end, I manage to smile and keep positive and know this bad feeling is temporary. And school is temporary as well and soon I'll be free from that hellhole.
:)
